If you’ve never listened to a Ted Talk or read a book by researcher Brené Brown, you’re seriously missing out. My favorite Ted Talk by Brené Brown is called “The Power of Vulnerability.” In this talk, she opens up about her experience of what she refrains from calling a “breakdown,” but instead refers to as a “spiritual awakening.” She describes how she completely fell apart, then turned to her support system to help build her back up. I had my very own “spiritual awakening” that shaped the way I’m looking at 2018.

   Much like Brené Brown, I consider myself a high-performing individual and place immense pressure on myself to fulfill each of my goals without mistakes. I also struggle asking for help, refusing to show my weaknesses even when they’re directly causing my downward spiral. Senior year brought on a whirlwind of stress that I hadn’t anticipated. My crowd of friends was constantly shifting, I had tennis every night after school, I was constantly busy with newspaper and schoolwork and on top of this, I was filling out college applications. All of the pressure I placed on myself caused me to be anxious and, at times, withdrawn from people I cared about.

  Suffering through my stress while simultaneously trying to convince others that I was feeling great started to seriously weigh on me. I was seriously struggling, yet refusing to admit it to myself or anyone else. The pretending was starting to drain me of my energy to the point where I could barely finish my homework. I was irritable all the time and underperforming in the areas of my life that mattered most to me. My internal stubbornness was causing me to lose touch with those who mattered to me. Then came the “spiritual awakening.”

   I realized one day that I needed to reach out for help. I started asking for help and advice from those I trusted, like my parents, coaches and teachers. I admitted to my friends that I wasn’t okay when they asked. I was honest with myself about my downfalls rather than casting them off on someone else. I received a lot of advice and understanding from those I reached out to and I realized that reaching out doesn’t make you weak but makes your relationships with others strong.

   My advice to anyone reading this is that it’s okay to have a “spiritual awakening” every once in a while. Just make sure you lean on those people when you need to.