by Cody Clawson |

First off, I would just like to apologize for any physical harm I have done to you. Like when we burned Lawrence, we didn’t mean it personally.

I also want to apologize for leaving the Big 12. I know you think we were just chasing money and being a gold digger, but the stability of the conference was not okay. Nebraska and Colorado had already left, Texas A&M was leaving and Texas was just being a bully. We had to go to a conference with stability and one that could promise they would stick with us through thick and thin.

I know you are bitter about us leaving but it is for the best. If anything, you guys should be happy! In the three major sports, basketball, baseball and football, we are winning the overall record 364-348. You should not want to play a team that constantly beats you.

This may be asking a lot, but we had a lot of people who were rooting for our relationship to last forever. When we left we disappointed all those “fans” and that is not something I like. So if you wouldn’t mind just going on a date with us once or twice a year to please the “fans” that would be greatly appreciated. We would even be okay if you picked when, where, and in what sport we played. You could even pick basketball, where you are leading the series 171-95.

I just hope you do not hold a grudge for too long. I still love you and truly am sorry for leaving.

Yours truly,

Missouri

P.S. What do you call a good-looking girl at the University of Kansas?

– A visitor!

P.S.S. What is the only sign of intelligence in Lawrence?

– “Columbia: 187 miles”