This Christmas, my mother has cut me off on the abundance of fuzzy socks I’m allowed. I’m never sure what to ask for other than those cute socks. However, this year is a bit different. I’m going off to college so of course all of the dorm necessities come to mind. But even that isn’t something I truly want.

There are bigger things I want. Earlier this year, my family found out my grandfather has a severe case of cancer in his jaw. He had a massive surgery in June to rebuild his jaw and remove the cancer. For a while he couldn’t even talk, but he’s now speaking just fine. The doctors have done everything they can to stop it, including radiation. The treatments have discontinued within the last month and we are hoping it got rid of the cancer.

My Popi is one of the strongest people I know. Two weeks after surgery he was back out on the golf course! He stopped doing that about a month ago but holy moly, that’s impressive to me. Lately, he’s supported me through the college application process by editing papers and providing moral support.

I’m not going to lie and say I’m not scared because I still am. I’m more scared than I have ever been. I’ve been fortunate enough to have all of my grandparents around. In fact, they all live within 15 minutes. They’ve come to every choir concert, volleyball game and birthday dinner I’ve ever had. I could not imagine life without one of them by my side. Of course, one day I will have to, but right now that’s not something I’m ready for. I want to have all of my grandparents watch me walk across the stage at graduation. I want them at my wedding one day (assuming I won’t be forever alone). I want to share big moments with them, which is why this is such a difficult situation for me.

The doctors only gave him two months, which was back in August. He beat that one. He’s been given until Christmas now. So yeah, I’m praying for a Christmas miracle. The only gift I want for Christmas is my Popi to get better and to cherish those moments I have with all of my grandparents.