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Con Parody Movies: A Hypocritical Montage

Con+Parody+Movies%3A+A+Hypocritical+Montage

column by Nathan Ellermeier |

I like to think that the Con is one of the easier things to write about in the newspaper. I am given a pre-chosen topic, and am told that I must give my opinion on the issue. No interviews, no reporting, no human interaction. Just research and opinion. And this time around, my job is made exponentially effortless. Our pre-chosen topic for this month is parody movies, spurred onward by the recent release of the box-office-abomination that was “Vampires Suck.” So in my ensuing words, I will do my best to convince you to hate something the general population already loathes. So here goes nothing (literally).

“Vampires Suck” had no apparent goal, save for a net gross, nor any adequate reason for why a movie like it was necessary. It parodied the all-too-popular “Twilight Saga.” The jokes submitted to the audience were drab and juvenile, and contained little substance besides the easily-made jokes about the mythical movie genre.

For the past ten years, we have dropped our hard-earned cash into Hollywood’s pockets for the statement of simple facts in the form of parody. It has become much like the bottled water industry. But unlike the West’s obsession with purchasing water for 5,000 times its actual worth, parody movies are no longer creatively packaged and sold.

Yes, I concede, the first “Scary Movie” was a gem, and there are several other parodies (“Spaceballs”, anyone?) that I can respect. But I am consistently shocked by the inability of the genre to branch out from its shallow environment. I would like to venture that along with puns, parody is making a place for itself as the lowest form of humor.

Before I close, I would quickly like to send my sympathy to my good friend, Pro, who had the painstaking job of writing about all of the great things we love about parody flicks. Thanks for doing the dirty work this time, Pro.

So, in closing, and also in memory of America’s most recent attempt at humor: Parody Movies Suck.

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